Chick flicks, the very thought of them brings back long suppressed memories of ex-girlfriends, Sunday night television before digital arrived and cinemas smelling like The Body Shop. Eager to see if my opinion had mellowed in my old age, I perhaps unwisely, challenged Katie to a lads vs ladies DVD duel. Selecting for her a historical war epic, gory sci-fi and depressingly crass comedy, I thought I had the upper had . . . till I saw what was in store for me!
Bridget Jones’s Diary
Starring: Renee Zellweger, Hugh Grant and Colin Firth
Zellweger plays a frumpy blonde who for some reason is romantically torn between uber-cad Grant and creepy, permanently morose Firth. Mishap follows mishap, occasionally raising a smile or chuckle. There’s a fight, not a very good one but a scrap nevertheless, some decent one liners and the occasional surprise cameo. And then it ends! Too soon? Not really .
For the record she should go for Hugh Grant every time . . .
The Devil Wears Prada
Starring: Anne Hathaway, Emily Blunt and Meryl Streep
Ostensibly nothing more than an advert for impractical clothing and bad acting, The Devil Wears Prada is also duller than a week in the jail. For starters it’s pretty difficult to comprehend any film that requires sex on legs Anne Hathaway to say “I am not skinny or glamorous” in the first five minutes. The ‘story’ then revolves around Hathaways attempts to please her lukewarm employer Streep whilst trying to ‘keep it real’. If I’d been directing, the final scene would have involved a lorry ploughing into the tedious lot of them. But of course as a fish out of water feel good drama everything ends well for everyone. Utter s_t.
Footloose
Starring: Kevin Bacon, Lori singer and John Lithgow
Veering from camp to serious and back again this all dancing tale of religious repression, violence against women and bad hair is the ultimate in racy 80’s trash teen cinema. Kevin Bacon plays a brooding, hip, city hoodlum trying to boogie the night away with the local skirt. Things don’t go to plan though because first he must un-ban dancing. One thing that can be said in favour of Footloose is that it confirms to the world that if you wanna get the girl you’ve gotta be able to jive like a prat, kick the crap out of rival alpha males and generally act like a total prick. Profound.
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