THE WORST FOOTBALL GROUNDS IN BRITAIN

SquareOne Sport

by Dave Hynes

The SquareOne team have been racking their heads for some time now. In fact, tensions are running high as the announcement looms. We’ve all been to those torrid away games where it feels like you’re in the visiting end of hell, the slightly colder end where misery wreaks havoc and they have the pomposity to serve crap pies to you. Ah yes, it’s with some nostalgia that I picture them in all their glory, the stadias of shabbiness, cold seats, zero facilities, broken turnstiles, leaking roofs- and that was if you were lucky!

Let me make you privy to the scientific investigation that has gone behind this piece. To help Dave on his quest, the SquareOne News team has conducted its own survey, based on the traditional SquareOne practice of getting the right interviews and going straight to the heart of the story. Our extensive network of football fans, our own writers and editors, lots of people on internet chatrooms and, of course, folk down the pub have all been consulted.

The Top Ten worst grounds are there mostly on merit; they received either the most or the harshest mocking of people who’ve had the misfortune to visit them. The perspectives are basically from those at the Visiting End apart from a magnanimous exception in the gracious John McLean, the Chesterfield fan who nominated his own club.

We’ve taken into account the many factors that go towards making a crap ground and my God there are many – leaking or even non existent roofs, whether the seats were designed for jockeys or really small jockeys, ticket prices, lack of atmosphere, PA announcers with speech impediments, the barbed wire mesh, the charm of the natives, crumbling terracing, the portaloo’s and overall value for money.

A couple are based purely on my experiences and I’ve let our editor nominate a couple of others. All the rest are the fruits of democracy, drum roll please . . .

1) Bayview, East Fife FC: East Fife's home matches are played at Bayview Stadium, capacity 2,000 they hope. The ground has one stand and is open at the three remaining sides. The far side is overshadowed by the derelict Methil power station.Yes, this one wins it for me. See Below.

2) Central Park, Cowdenbeath: is situated just off the High Street in the centre of the town. Bang in the centre of town. It’s only 50 metres from the sea with a huge racetrack around it! Not sure if this one meets SPL standards! Not sure if it meets any standard really.


3) Recreation Park, Chesterfield: This one seems most unpopular with the English responses we got. Derek Shaw, chairman of Preston North End told SquareOne it was:

“By far the worst in England is that heap they call Recreation Park, I couldn’t think of a more inappropriate name for a football ground”

4) Priestfield, Gillingham: Never fails to live down to expectations.

5) Kenilworth Road, Luton: Football ground meets penitentiary. See for yourself.

6) Stair Park, Stranraer: A hut in a park would be far too kind. Needs a bomb.

7) Blundell Park, Grimsby: With many areas of seating without any view of the pitch, it is one of those prestigious grounds with no redeeming features.

8) Gayfield Park, Arbroath: You Fifers ain’t doing too well here. This ones a pure smoky mess.

9) Pittodrie Stadium, Aberdeen: The coldest ground in Europe. Who chooses to build a stadium slap bang next to the North Sea? If you sit in the South Stand and survive the dire football, you’ll die of exposure as you make a dash for one of the surrounding watering holes on 90 minutes. Sadistic. You can't feel the freeze in this picture, but the photographer did. R.I.P my friend . . .

10) Ochilview Park, Stenhousemuir: Another hell-hole from Scotland.