DON AND OUT

SquareOne Sport

by Chris Hammond

You can’t sit, you’ve not been able to for over an hour. You feel tense, excited and physically drained. It’s cold, there’s rain and a wind which brings the lingering scent of alcohol with it. But for the huddled 22,000 enduring the elements on this December night in the North East the four goals Aberdeen would score against Danish heavyweights Copenhagen will be more than enough comfort from the elements.

Fast forward four months and a team largely consisting of the exact same players as that UEFA Cup glory night are strewn across a soggy Hampden pitch. Here they lie contemplating a 4-3 mauling at the hands of mid-table First Divison no marks Queen Of The South in a the Scottish Cup semi final.

Aberdeen manager Jimmy Calderwood, a mahogany skinned, rotund, gopher-like journalist's wet dream; stands on the touchline watching the players he jettisoned years ago scoring against and celebrating the defeat of a club once considered the best in the world. Red and white scarves rain down on the pitch as the north retreats from their battlefield rout at the hands of the south.

The week following sees Calderwood praise the ageing, decrepit Jackie McNamara, hailing him as the man to turn the club's fortunes round. This is despite the one time Scottish Player of the year being the poorest footballer on the park. Worse yet goal scoring pocket dynamo Barry Nicholson announces he won’t be staying at a club where he shines like a diamond in a morass of footballing faeces. Of course there were sacrificial lambs and noises made about new signings to appease the disgruntled fans. But largely those set for the chop didn’t play in the Cup debacle, and those seen as being the fast fix for the most rapidly declining force in football consist of two ex players who didn’t make a mark the first time round, a leaden footed former Rangers defender and a Dutch goalkeeper famous for a leaked video involving him enjoying bedroom deviance with a former girlfriend.

Before the season ends, Pittodrie an imposing fortress on the coast, prepares itself for three more scheduled raids. Willie Miller, a titanic, gladiatorial captain of former years looks on from his position as football director at a collection of troops which have shipped 8 goals in two semi finals this year, have no hope of a European Campaign come the autumn and are being managed by a man the fans accuse of picking a team through a “tactical tombola”.

Hewn from granite, the city of Aberdeen can merge with the sky on a dull day, leaving things an almost intolerably depressing shade of grey. Yet when the sun appears and the clouds depart, Aberdeen becomes a glistening beacon, a beautiful hub of elegance on a rugged landscape.

As this schizophrenic season of soccer shenanigans trundles to an end and a summer of rebuilding begins, the fans of Aberdeen FC have to ponder whether the next term will be silver or grey – Copenhagen or Queen Of The South. At the moment even the most optimistic would admit it’s grim up north.