FASHION SKELETOR

SQUAREONE

WORLD EXCLUSIVE

by Chris Hammond

SquareOne Fashion

Back in the 1980s, Eternia-based professional evil-doer Skeletor spent his time indulging in world domination plots and dastardly schemes. Generally, these ventures were foiled by Skeletor's arch enemy He-Man and his motley team of worthy, muscle-bound companions.

Defeat followed defeat, and after falling on hard times Skeletor was forced to find gainful employment as a fashion critic in the tough world of haute couture. Speaking from his office lair in Eternia, Skeletor explains more: “Back in the day I was the leader of the most cutting edge crew of malevolent dressers the universe has seen. Evil Lyn, for instance had an innovative head dress that compensated for her lack of realistic hair. Since the battle to master the universe has wound down a bit I have invaded the gloriously cruel, stylish and colourful world of fashion photography.”

Describing himself as a fashion icon, Skeletor believes his dress sense is on a par with any of the world’s top models: “My mastery of the medium of plastic, my nu-rave make up, my nu-grave gothic good looks, and my medieval and sci-fi detailing have combined to make the most influential fashion overlord ever. I'm not as skilled with being feminine but as long as 80s chic and hints of sexual perversion exist I shall wield great power.”

His years as an over-worked and underpaid lord of evil left Skeletor tired and world weary. Struggling to find purpose or direction he would spend his weekends reading the broadsheets hoping to find focus in an article or job advert.
It was here that Fashion Skeletor came into being: “News, culture, society....these are the trivial details that should be confined to a single flimsy supplement, whilst all other sections of the Sunday paper should be filled with glorious images of muscular skull faced style masters, statuesque androgynous models and exciting fashion imagery.”

It didn’t take long for Skeletor’s impressive bone structure and forceful nature to come to the attention of modelling agencies and style supplements, although the style successes of his Eternian acquaintances have been mixed: “I'm my own favourite model. Beast Man's 'look' occasionally becomes very fashionable, but I would not describe him as 'dressed'. Buzz-Off still looks awesome. Curse him!”

Not content with working in front of and behind the camera, Fashion Skeletor has moved into interior design. His own home is a brilliant example of delicate taste and flair: “I have Snake Mountain looking exquisite, even though a lot of the furniture and some of the doors are in fact stickers. The place is a swinging bachelor pad fit for a powerful style-master to entertain the greatest models, designers, artists and warriors. The gate is broke though, so you have to climb in through the bathroom window. But beware, Beast Man is frequently asleep in the bath.”

Wih the interview almost at a close, there is one question that cannot be avoided. Does Fashion Skeletor have any tips for aspiring young dictators and malevolent overlords? “Dressing all in black is a frequent, yet crucial error. Wear neon colours so as to blind feeble do-gooders into submission”.

Check out Fashion Skeletor’s gallery at www.sozboz.com/skeletor.htm

SquareOne Fashion Editor Caitlin Rattray gives her verdict on the couture sensation that is Fashion Skeletor

Behold Fashion Skeletor, the plastic fantastic superhero fashion icon. Skeletor's get-up can best be described as nu-rave meets superhero chic; clashing blasts of juicy neon clothing and make up with a serving of black, maybe PVC, probably hot pants on the side.

But while you admire his unique way with fashion, don't fail to overlook the dazzling model good looks of this pint sized idol. Skeletor has rock hard pecs and a washboard stomach most likely owing to his days fighting He-Man and friends. His chiselled bone structure rivals that of any waif-like catwalk model and pictured above he makes Kate Moss look like Matt Lucas on a bad day. Skeletor's influence on the coming season is undeniable; look out for a fully fledged eighties revival. Think Darth Vader in drag...in a good way.