EDINBORING

SquareOne Opinion

by Dave Hynes

Edinburgh Castle has just been painted pink for the rest of 2008, with a proposed change to deep purple in 2009. Leith Walk will be turned into a blue and yellow Champs Elysee once the tram is finished. Plans to turn the Cowgate a light turquoise are being discussed at Holyrood today. Or maybe not.

I love Edinburgh, I really do. It’s a city that offers so much; culture, entertainment, the arts… battered mars bars. It has some beautiful buildings too, so beautiful in fact the city seems to sparkle with colours of every hue. Well, actually, no it doesn’t because unfortunately Edinburgh is almost uniformly grey. The use of granite may make Scottish buildings practically eternal, but I think the city is in dire need of a facelift.

The architecture of cities often reflects a civic personality and speaks a lot about its citizens and its history. Greyness may say a lot about Edinburgh; hard, proud, no- nonsense, intelligent- even beautiful. But it also says another thing . . . boring! What Edinburgh needs is an Antoni Gaudi to spruce up the place, someone with a vision that goes beyond the dour greyness of Edinburgh’s esteemed edifices. Where is Edinburgh’s imagination? Why do our buildings have to be so serious?

Give me black or give me white, but I’m afraid I’ve had enough of grey. A greyness which in the short winter days kinds of adds to the dourness of the season. Between George IV Bridge and the Royal Mile colour is so scarce it’s as though a grey sheet of architectural fog has descended. Edinburgh has surely one of the greatest cityscapes in the world; Princes St and South Bridge overlook a magnitude of beautiful architecture but my goodness aren’t they mostly grey.

Grey, grey, grey is what Edinburgh is today. Where is Edinburgh’s Pompidou Centre or its Sagrada Familia? Edinburgh’s cityscape needs imprecision and audacity, and most of all it needs humour. In some ways Holyrood Parliament has at least attempted to tickle our funny bone but it’s unfortunately the jokes is a bit s_t.

Colour is light-hearted and I would prefer another architectural catastrophe than a more traditional, sublimely built but dull grey monolith. What Edinburgh needs is a little imagination, and one that goes beyond the trams. We need a facelift, a make-over which looks towards Edinburgh’s future rather than taking pride in its past. We need colour, especially during winter. Edinburgh’s buildings should reflect the vibrancy of life in this city; they should stand out not so much for prestige but for daring and endeavour. Let’s have a bright ochre statue in George St, and a maroon pyramid on Charlotte Square. Let’s turn our theatres bright green and our libraries shining white.

Not everything in life is black and white. But sometimes it should be and in Edinburgh’s case, shades of grey are no compromise at all. Just add colour!

Got any good suggestions for where Edinburgh could do with a lick of paint. Fancy the castle painted like a rainbow during festival time? Should we renovate the Cowgate into deep crimson or how about an ocean blue for Holyrood Palace? Let the SquareOne News team know.

SquareOne - Scottish Cities In A Word

1 Glasgow - mental

2 Edinburgh - grey

3 Aberdeen - cold

4 Dundee - why?

5 Inverness - rural

Photo by absolutwade

GRETNA'S MARRIAGE WITH DISASTER

by David Hynes

SquareOne Sport

Sometimes three clicks of the heel is all it ever needs. Sometimes the frog turns into Prince Charming and sometimes the ugly sisters are silenced into submission; but for Gretna FC all talk of fairytale endings is well and truly over. For the town most famous for its quick-fire wedding arrangements, their divorce from footballing success could not have been more pronounced.

The rise and fall of Gretna football club reads like a movie script. The tiny Dumfriesshire village, with a population of only 3,000 and famous only as the destination of choice for runaway lovers must now come to terms with its starring role in a tragic separation - that of fantasy and football.

Gretna won the hearts of so many football fans with their courageous efforts against Hearts in the 2006 Scottish Cup Final- cruelly losing in a tense penalty shoot-out. In doing so they became the smallest team ever to reach the final, in any cup in British football history. This was a truly staggering achievement which defied all expectations and flew in the face of conventional footballing wisdom. Gretna became the first team from the third tier of their domestic league to qualify for the UEFA Cup. Football’s minnows had done it, they’d competed with the big boys and the horizon looked rosy indeed.

Their rise from the Unibond League to the SPL was fuelled by cash injections from millionaire benefactor Brooks Mileson. With a sugar daddy seemingly hell-bent on making his footballing baby the pride of a nation, Gretna began to draw fans from around the country becoming everybody’s second favourite team.

But this season, things began to go wrong. Brooks Mileson fell seriously ill and a string of bad results on the field were matched by paltry attendances in their temporary Fir park home. In the midst of this chaos, the Mileson family withdrew all funding from the club.

On 12 March 2008, Gretna officially went into administration. The ten point deduction that this meant left them with just six points from 28 games and without hope of SPL survival.
The SPL will be relieved if the club can fulfil their obligations for the rest of the season. If Gretna goes into liquidation, which they still might, their results will be expunged from this season's record.

Such an outcome would have had a major impact on the SPL table, reducing leaders Rangers' advantage over Celtic from four points to just one. Fourth-placed Dundee United would leapfrog Motherwell and the make-up of the top six would also be affected.

Gretna lost 3-0 to Aberdeen in their last game, and they can only fulfil their SPL fixtures with financial support from the league. With only a handful of fixtures left, their fate has been sealed, though their future seems far from certain.

Can there be one last twist in the fairytale? I’d start kissing frogs if I was a Gretna fan and hope Mr Mileson can pull through and have a change of heart. A tragic ending to a tale which only last year seemed to promise so much.