CHALLENGE DAVE: BODA BAR

SquareOne Booze


by Dave Hynes

Wow! I’m impressed…seriously impressed. I think I owe you Leithers an apology; this is amongst the very best bars in Edinburgh - and I mean that. It's an unimposing and most- welcoming little haven resting unobtrusively about midway up Leith Walk and it would surely make any serious shortlist of Scotland’s best pubs.

The Boda is a bohemian little boozer, apparently with a subtle Swedish twist. It serves great beer in a great atmosphere; it’s upbeat, urbane and completely juxtaposed to the s_t which surrounds it. Instead of waving a white flag, surrendering to the overwhelming barrage of dourness present in many Leith pubs, it more than hold it's own. It quite stubbornly refuses to be a s_t pub, refuses so far in fact that it is an absolute gem hidden in the Walk of drinking woe.

The clientele are absolutely great; they seem to be mostly Leithers who refuse the usual serving of Leithness. On entering I overheard a happy-go-lucky young man trying to chat up a real stunner; "yeah we just sound like any other indie band". I knew I’d finally arrived in a Leith pub I could actually look forward to going into, with gorgeous women and only chat lines like that to compete with, Boda is like a great Swedish blond; a joy to be inside.

And talking about aesthetics, there is also an Aussie blonde bombshell barmaid who keeps the laughs going through the night, a true Boadicea but about ten times better looking. The barman is great too, really likeable, doubtless he'll not find employment anywhere else in the area.

The Boda also has the best music in town with chilled out funky tunes to keep your head nodding and your tail wagging throughout the day. But most of all though it’s the attitude of Boda which shines through the most. It’s attitude to being a pub on Leith Walk, its reaction against the homogeneity of its competitors, its ability to run a damn good pub and its ‘make sure you come back’ essence which simply puts the Boda on a pegging all of its own. BODAcious indeed.

CHALLENGE DAVE: THE CENTRAL BAR

The story so far: We send Dave out and about in Leith to soak up the atmosphere in the less fashionable night-spots in the city. So far he's been offered knock-off goods in the Marksman and made friends with the locals in the Foot of The Walk. This week, barely staggering distance from his last port of call, Dave has a tipple in the Central Bar on Leith Walk.

by David Hynes

SquareOne Pubs

My goodness this is Leith at its grimmest, not quite enough to shake the Marksman from its top ranking in the pantheon of pub poorness (even at this early stage it looks like the clear front-runner to get the coveted ‘worst pub in Leith’ award) but shockingly bad all the same.

Going to terrible pubs is personality building, and because of this terrible pubs can become national institutions. Like boozy initiation tests for the truly British. But alas, the Central is not so much an initiation test as a test of will, mainly because the place is so sense-numbingly dull.

The décor looks like a drab Scottish nightmare but not nearly as interesting. Have you ever been near suicidal and wondered why you keep wasting your money at the bar? If you have and you liked that feeling then get on down to the Central, the very epicentre of the end of the world.

There were positives - the barman was undoubtedly cheery and he seemed to take no little pride in his abode. They have a widescreen TV too, but I think this is a sympathetic gesture to divert concentration away from the mucus-coloured and probably mucus-stained walls.

But the positives were few and far between and any lingering sympathy I may have had were wiped away when I was served, without doubt, the worst pint of Guinness in Edinburgh.

Know a terrible boozer? - challenge Dave to drink in it by e-mailing squareonenews@gmail.com

CHALLENGE DAVE: THE MARKSMAN

In the first of a regular feature, we challenge our Dave to go undercover and soak up the ambiance of the worst pubs in Edinburgh. Tune in before he gets killed. This week: The Marksman.



by David Hynes

SquareOne Booze


On your marks....get set.....DO NOT GO! What aim the owners of this Leith-based pub had in mind when they opened the doors last year remains unclear. It certainly doesn’t try to compete with the fashionable bars in the city centre. The target audience seems to be real men (or women who look like real men). By far the least salubrious bar I have ever visited in Edinburgh, the Marksman is a no-nonsense drinking den for those who come to drink. Or fight. Or most likely both.

The entrance was almost completely hidden behind half a dozen chain-smoking octogenarians who guarded it earnestly. The walls seemed to echo with the arguments that the pub has surely witnessed over the last 15 months. The bar (if indeed you could call it a bar), is grossly inadequate and the pub, taken a as a whole is also absolute s___e.

The locals seemed friendly enough, but I didn’t advertise my Englishness for fear of angering the men or even worse; attracting any of the "hens" in need of a cosmopolitan lover.

I did talk to some of the regulars though and if the words of the builder I spoke with are to be believed it seems the regulars in The Marksman can deliver a birthday bonanza. Tired of the usual arduous process of shopping around for decent gifts? I have it on good authority that all of your presents can be delivered to your home, on time and for a fraction of the usual cost.

Despite its flaws, I can’t but recommend the Marksman. In a city full of trendy wine-bars and soulless tourist traps, it is a genuine watering hole and represents a dying breed of pubs. True, it’s tough, true the smoking ban might not be enforced stringently during the periodic lock-ins but at least it is honest.

Let's face it, every city needs its s__t-holes, and in this regard The Marksman absolutely hits the bullseye.

Visit The Marksman at 13 Duke Street, Leith. But if you don't fancy that, try these:

SquareOne's top five Edinburgh pubs

1. The Oxford, Young Street
2. The Canny Man's, Morningside Road
3. Boda, Leith Walk
4. The Blue Blazer, Spittal Street
5. Victoria's, Leith Walk